Things non-parents should never say to parents
Becoming a new parent is both exciting and scary at the same time and while many parents to be and new parents will consult family and friends for advice on how to parent their child, they sometimes also encounter unwanted or unsolicited advice. A mother to be who 7 months pregnant is may have a hard time concealing their condition and this can come with lots of congratulations and helpful advice, it is sometimes met with unwanted advice that can be cringe-worthy. If you are a parent looking for advice on how to handle these people and their questions you can find sites that have blogs to help you and below is a list of things that non-parents should never say to parents.
You look tired.
This is one statement that will annoy most parents and especially parents of newborns, of course they are tired. Raising kids takes a lot of time and energy and if you have a newborn that means getting up several times a night to make sure they are fed and changed. Older children may be sick or have nightmares so parents need to attend to them as well, so yes parents are tired.
I'm having a party, but its adults only.
This is extremely annoying to parents. While certain occasions or black tie events are obviously for adults only, friends without kids may want you to attend a birthday party or holiday event and if it is adults only most parents will not be able to attend. It is understandable that some people prefer not to have or be around children, but don't just assume because someone has a child or children they want to bring them to your party.
I didn't invite you because you always say no.
Well, thank you for just assuming that I will not be able to go. Unfortunately baby's and kids have many activities they are involved in and friends with no kids may be able to go to events on the spur of the moment, most parents cannot. Don't assume that parents can't attend your event, just make sure you give them enough notice to find a sitter or change their plans so they can attend, but if an invite is spur of the moment don't be so surprised when parents can't attend.
What, you haven't watched the new episode yet?
Unfortunately, when you have children you may have to forgo some of the activities or indulgences you may have been able to do before they were born and one of these may include watching favorite television show episodes when they first air. Depending on your baby's or kids schedules you may be feeding, bathing, helping with homework, driving to a sporting event or some other activity during the time your favorite show airs so you may need to watch it later if at all. Don't look so surprised when parent's lives don't revolve around the television.
I know how you feel, I babysat my nephew for a few hours and I'm exhausted.
Here is a good one that can get on the nerves of the most patient and understanding parent, watching a child for a few hours in no way compares to being a parent of a child. Yes watching a child, especially a baby may be exhausting for someone who is not used to it, but when you are babysitting you know there will be an end time parents have no end time and must deal with all the pressures and responsibilities of being a parent with can be both physically and emotionally exhausting. Next time you are thinking of saying this to a parent please don't it is extremely annoying.
Changing diapers, yuck babies are so nasty.
Wow, thanks for the information. Of course, changing diapers can be nasty, but it is just one of the many things parents are willing to do in order to raise their child or children. I don't think anyone looks forward to changing smelly diapers but this is a necessary evil that must be endured to make sure your child is happy and healthy. If dirty diapers is what is holding you back from having a child, then you are probably not ready for one anyway.
Someone needs to shut that baby up their crying is annoying me.
No one enjoys hearing a baby cry, especially not their parents. Babies cry when they need something not just because they want to be annoying. Whether it is the fact that they are hungry, have a dirty diaper, or are experiencing anxiety and just want to be help babies rarely cry for no reason so have a little compassion and realize that parents do not enjoy hearing their baby cry any more than you do so before you make this statement consider the situation and the feelings of the baby's parents and just don't say it.
I only got 8 hours of sleep last night.
This one is really unnerving especially to parents of newborns and infants who sleep a few hours at a time. Eight hours is more than enough rest for a normal adult and parents often get between 4-6 hours and sometimes that is broken up into 1 or 2 hours at a time so if you really want to aggravate a parent tell them you only got 8 hours of sleep I guarantee they will roll their eyes in disgust.
In the end just remember what thumper used to say, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" and you can avoid aggravating parents. Most of the above statements are obvious and really do not have to be said out loud. This is one reason some parents choose to socialize with other parents and this bond can make them closer as friends because they have a better understanding of what their lives are like. If you do not have any children then have a little compassion or what parents are going through and instead of saying things that will most likely annoy them, try to give words of encouragement whenever possible.
- Jennifer Akiyama