Have you ever looked at a chia pet and thought, "Great, that's my child's haircut!"? Welcome to my world - the magical world of curly haircuts, where bad styling decisions turn your kid's adorable curls into something that belongs on late-night infomercials.
For a good while now, I've been on a quest to master the fine art of toddler hairstyling - without the salon price tag. Don't get me wrong, I don't claim to be the next Edward Scissorhands. I'm a writer by trade, not a barber. But my son's hair had declared mutiny and it was my sworn duty as his mom to restore order!
My journey began where all moms turn for DIY advice - good ol' YouTube. A land of endless "how-to" videos that often lead to "how-did-that-happen?" haircuts. Seriously, some of those ‘pro’ tips would make Rapunzel grab a beanie! As it turns out, navigating hair tutorials is a bit like navigating a maze in the dark - lots of dead ends and occasional moments of sheer terror.
But hope springs eternal! My son's curls had morphed from angelic ringlets into a frizzy, thick mess that was as stubborn as a mule. It was clear that surrender was not an option. I needed guidance from a seasoned veteran. So, I called upon the wisdom of Cozy Friedman, a bona fide kids' hair guru, armed with three decades of salon experience and plenty of patience.
Cozy's first nugget of wisdom - cut your kid's hair somewhere other than the bathtub. Who knew? I always thought the bathtub was the prime location for these things, but apparently, the risk of slipping and chasing a kid with a pair of scissors is not an ideal situation. So, we set up camp in the living room with a trash bag-turned-floor cover, ready for the mane event.
Her arsenal of advice was as long as my son's attention span is short, so I had to keep things moving. Cozy recommended a comb, some duckbill hair clips, and a pair of proper haircutting scissors. Not those blunt kitchen scissors that could barely cut butter, but the real deal. And if you're daring enough for a shorter cut, an electric buzzer can be a lifesaver. Although be warned, the buzzing can induce a meltdown faster than you can say "it's just a little trim!"
As for the actual cutting of curly hair, the golden rule is simple: curly hair is forgiving. So if you mess up a bit, just remember it'll probably bounce back into place - literally. As for technique, it's all about visualising the outcome, detangling like there's no tomorrow, and then diving in section by section.
Now, this part gets a bit hairy. Let's talk about buzzers and guards. Sounds like something out of a space movie, right? But it's actually all about choosing the right length for your clipper. Lower numbers mean shorter cuts, and you usually want a longer guard for the top and a shorter one for the sides. Just think of it as giving your child a haircut mullet - business on the sides, party on top.
And don't forget about the bangs! They're the proverbial cherry on top of the haircut sundae. Here's where Cozy's words echo in my mind: "Cut less than you think you need to!" I can't tell you how many times my eager scissoring has led to bangs that were more, well, bang than I'd hoped for.
Now, when it comes to revealing those tiny little ears, be gentle. No need to give your kiddo an impromptu piercing. Also, don't forget to take a step back every now and then to assess your masterpiece. This helps you keep track of the overall shape and allows you to make any necessary adjustments.
So, how did my first living room haircut turn out? Well, let's just say we're still in the 'learning phase'. But one thing's for sure, it's been a journey full of laughter, a few tears, and plenty of learning. And while my son's curls might not be salon-perfect yet, there's no question that they're full of love and motherly devotion.
Stay tuned for the next installment of "Curly Hair Chronicles," where I'll share our adventure into the world of curly hair products, or as I like to call it, "How Many Leave-In Conditioners Does It Take to Tame a Toddler's Tresses?".